Saturday, September 5, 2009

... see seashells ... safely ...

... duck for cover, here come da seashell lover ... another one of those beard-grooming neo-hipsters who softens unashamedly at the compound beauty to be seen throughout nature ... and he wants you to see what he sees in the photographs he's taken ...

... avoid your eyes and slide by or risk an assault on the pleasure receptors in your head ... y'never know how you'll react, feelgood can escalate to addiction, especially if supplies are plentiful ... check it, have you seen how many seashells there are? ...







... ignore the oohing-and-aahing you hear, it's a psychological ploy to make you think you're missing something good ... don't be fooled into swinging around to actually look, most aren't able to resist what they see ... seashells have perfected the use of colour to seduce your senses ...







... do not touch either for that matter ... there is a verifiable connection between touching seashells ... picking them up, feeling their smoothness or heft, and an overwhelming desire to own them ... it doesn't stop there ... many, many shells are aware of this and offer tactility designed to ensnare you ...








... of course it was inevitable that seashells would start to drift upmarket ... initially there was the seemingly ad hoc patterning, but frequent observation of geometrically consistent design in shell after shell, combined with use of colour and sheen, indicates malice aforethought ...











... despite the ubiquity of seashells and collections thereof, there has, to date, been precious little insight into this "condition," neither uncommon nor new, but strangely still unnamed ... perhaps because it's not known to be fatal ... in many cultures the very young may even thrive on it ... for grown adults though, tread carefully and use sound judgement ... seek help if you start to dream about seashells or hallucinate ...

... I'll include a simple yes-or-no test for your peace of mind should you feel uneasy about overexposure to seashells ... look at the next image and answer the question ...

... is this a seashell pretending to be a peacock? ...

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